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I am a Paranoid Microholic PDF Print E-mail
Written by Perry Correll   
Tuesday, 28 November 2006

ImageIt’s the only explanation I can come up with. I show all the signs of any typical addiction. It is the first thing I think of in the morning when I wake up, overly tired and groggy from the late night I spent organizing and editing. And checking my downloads. And uploading more. (More coffee....) Let's try a vector again. Check the acceptance status of my most recent uploads. Curse the reviewers for any rejection. Pace for awhile, fretting fiercely over the horrid injustice that has been thrown upon me like a wet blanket. Imagining the reviewer’s maniacal laughter as he or she arbitrarily clicks the REJECT button again and again with no regard for the image content. Convinced it is the only explanation for that rejection.

That being said, I have come to the conclusion that a support group could be, even should be established for those who suffer from the same affliction. And I know you’re out there! I see your oh-so-familiar log in names on ALL the same sites I upload to. Why, I would even venture to say that I, the first fully admitted Paranoid Microholic, am NOT the saddest, most extreme case that stalks the other photographers for ideas, tips and insight.

So, without further ado, I would like to introduce the all-new 12 step program that has been established in the hopes of steering all the lost souls back into the light of day. It is my personal belief that by following these steps, we will begin to recover from our despair and descend into complete, photographic madness.

Here then, the 12 Steps to Recovery for a Paranoid Microholic.

  1. Admit to the fact that we are powerless over the reviewers.
  2. Believe that a camera greater than our own can restore us to sanity.
  3. Make the decision to force ourselves to regularly upgrade our noise reduction software.
  4. Make a searching and fearless inventory of our own images.
  5. Admit to ourselves, and to our fellow Microholics, that we feel we are falling short of being the next Ansel Adams.
  6. Be ready to have a power greater than ourselves determine whether our photos are stock-worthy.
  7. Humbly ask the critique forums for frank assessments and guidance.
  8. Make a list of all our shortcomings – whether it be composition or noise, fringing or lens flare.
  9. Make direct contact with anyone who may have information pertaining to the use of our photos.
  10. Continue to make a fearless inventory of our own images, casting aside any that do not meet our new, exacting standards.
  11. Seek to improve our acceptance ratio with the reviewers as we understand them, striving only for knowledge of what it is they are looking for.
  12. Having reached a level of tack sharp images with flawless exposure as a result of taking these steps, we must carry this message to other Microholics, and to continue to practice these steps through every jpeg we process.
  13. FELLOW MICROHOLICS UNITE! THE TIME HAS COME FOR US ALL TO STAND SHOULDER TO SHOULDER IN DEFENSE OF OUR PARANOIA! WE MUST STRIKE DOWN THE BEAST THAT HAS GRIPPED EACH OF US AS WE STRUGGLE TO FIND THE DEFINITION OF THE PERFECT, STOCK PHOTO!!!


Obviously, if you’re new at this Microstock stuff, you should be forewarned that it is NOT for the faint-hearted. But you are not alone. Never fear, for the support community in this business is among the best.

Microholics Rock!

 

© 2006 Perry Correll [bio ] 

Last Updated ( Tuesday, 28 November 2006 )
 
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